“We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.” -Martin Luther King, Jr.
“If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment.” -Henry David Thoreau
Oklahoma is in an intense flash drought fueled by extreme heat, low rainfall, and dry air—99.8% of the state is in severe drought. The heat has hovered in triple digits for weeks, and the losses to gardens, farms, and wildlife is visible to anyone who can bear to look. The promise of our rainy spring and early summer this year has literally dried up.
“Don’t be afraid to suffer- give the heaviness back to the weight of the Earth.” -Rainer Maria Rilke
In nature, and absent of human interference, ecosystems respond quickly to drought. The more tender grasses can give way to tougher species with deeper roots; soil microbes falter for awhile, but they do recover a new balance after a long enough time; Trees drop leaves early in order to protect their roots. Fire risk rises, but the land recovers from natural wildfires with a rise in nutrients in the newly carbon rich soil. Streams break into warm, low-oxygen pools, and reservoirs shrink. With less vegetation, wildlife shifts toward remaining water, which in turn cultivates these areas in ways that ultimately bring flourishing and balance back into the ecosystem.
“Disappointments are to the soul what a thunderstorm is to the air.” -Friedrich Schiller
Anyone who has been in a place of deep disappointment, numbness, loss, failure, grief, or depression, has experienced a drought of the spiritual kind.
“There's always failure. And there's always disappointment. And there's always loss. But the secret is learning from the loss, and realizing that none of those holes are vacuums.” -Michael J. Fox
This kind of soul deep drought is named in most spiritual traditions- in Christian contemplative circles it’s known as “The Dark Night of the Soul,” in Judaism as “Hester Panim” (The Hidden Face of God), in Zen as “The Great Doubt,” and the list goes on. These types of experiences may or may not coincide with a crushing disappointment, and they can last for days, or for years.
“I long so much to make beautiful things. But beautiful things require effort and disappointment and perseverance.” -Vincent Van Gogh
In the process of spiritual direction, there is no quick fix for deep disappointment. Instead, we get curious, we listen deeply, and we practice being present with the reality of the moment, allowing life to be just as it is.
“Letting there be room for not knowing is the most important thing of all. When there's a big disappointment, we don't know if that's the end of the story. It may just be the beginning of a great adventure. Life is like that. We don't know anything. We call something bad; we call it good. But really we just don't know.” -Pema Chodron
It requires courage, to be sure, but when you’re looking at the rock bottom of your own soul, this is exactly the place to begin to build a strong foundation.
"Love is what enables us to bridge the gap of disappointment when others don't live up to the expectations we have of them." ~ Abigail Van Buren
The invitation of disappointment is to let go of the attachment to circumstances being different than what they are, so that we can get to work on making space in our hearts for the new beginnings that are waiting to emerge.
“Ones best success comes after their greatest disappointments.” -Henry Ward Beecher
“When you find your path, you must not be afraid. You need to have sufficient courage to make mistakes. Disappointment, defeat, and despair are the tools God uses to show us the way.” -Paulo Coelho
Deep Inquiries in times of disappointment:
Where does this disappointment show up in your body and daily life right now?
What is it asking you to stop pretending or holding false assumptions about?
What kinds of expectations and attachments (of the Divine, yourself, others, or the future) are being exposed in your disappointment?
What might it look like to release those expectations without abandoning what you truly love and value?
If you didn’t rush to fix, explain, or spiritually bypass the feeling of disappointment, what small act of honesty, grief, or consent to reality would honor your current experience?
What infinite hope is still alive underneath this finite disappointment?